Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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