I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
