she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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