on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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