are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
