u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
