I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
