Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize