Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize