she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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