In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
