So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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