Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize