he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize