It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
