actually, I'm a sock model
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
