i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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