my soul wont recognize me after tonight
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize