That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
