Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize