One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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