You're my little dorito
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
