I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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