I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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