He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
