He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
