I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You ruined the universe
Randomize
