There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
