It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize