what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
