So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
