This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
