New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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