Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
please don't ironically join a cult
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