Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
