Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
