I need help removing her.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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