you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
