My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
