well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
