4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
