also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize
