So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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