North Korea, Best Korea!
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
