I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
