All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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