last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize