currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize