Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize