i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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