Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
