so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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