i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
