Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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