made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
