This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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