i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
...so i touched it.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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