We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
