I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize