We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
