normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
