He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
