He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
